MUM'S THE WORD TO MAKE TROUBLE GO AWAY

I'm walking my dog past the local pharmacy when a young Englishman comes flying out to confront a traffic agent who's poised to hit him with a ticket for illegal parking. "Please don't give me a ticket!" the Englishman cries. "I was in there for just a moment, getting a prescription for me Mum!" No reaction from the traffic agent until the Englishman adds: "She's on her deathbed!" The agent smiles. I smile. My dog smiles. We all know it's a tall tale, but it's damn entertaining. No ticket.